A bit of nonsense on Mars's Day

Characters

Princess Anne's bull terrier Dotty
Queen Elizabeth II's corgi Pharos

Scene

Sandringham estate, rear lawn

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Dotty: It's a bit grey today, isn't it?
Pharos: Yes.
Dotty: A bit dull.
Pharos: Oh, I wouldn't say dull.
Dotty: No?
Pharos: No.
Dotty: What would you say then?
Pharos: Well, it's clearly grey - as noted - but it's also bracing I would say. Mostly bracing.
Dotty: You would say?
Pharos: Yes, that is the dominant atmospheric phenomenon that is making itself apparent to me at this moment.
Dotty: Apparent?
Pharos: Indeed.
Dotty: dominant?
Pharos: Apparently.
Dotty (pause): I wouldn't say bracing.
Pharos: No?
Dotty: No.
Pharos: No, you wouldn't.
Dotty: What?
Pharos: You haven't.
Dotty: Yes. (pause) Oh, I'm so bored! It's so dull today. Pharos, let's play a game.
Pharos: All right. Will it be like the last one?
Dotty: Oh no, nothing like the last one. This one'll be much more fun.
Pharos: All right. How do we play?
Dotty: Simple. You run away like a cut* rabbit while I chase you screaming "when I catch you I'm going to rip your legs off and watch you bleed to death".
Pharos (chuckling): But of course you want actually do that.
Dotty (pause, then chuckling): Of course. So you want to get started? How about I count to five?


* I originally had 'shot rabbit' but then that didn't seem right cos a shot rabbit would probably not be running anywhere, or very far, or for very long, which would make the game not very fun. Oh god, my little dog play is going all schlock! The next change will see Dotty pouncing on Pharos with a five foot hedge trimmer in one paw and a rusty spanner in the other (both items stolen from Prince Philip's shed; Dotty's other paws being used for posture and stability).