Unplangent paegent

A soft-footed beast approached me from behind
I sensed its breath before the opening of its jaw
It was a pantomime

Cast offs

Papa was a sailor
Nana was a knitter
They loved one another
I miss them

Wallflower non

On a rising tide
The moonlight is spreading
Its dance is for doom

Socks up

In thrall to his nylon gods
The master puppeteer tries
His hand at everything

The genial country quitter

The solar rep was once a roofer. I watched him scramble up a 32-degree ridge with a clipboard and measuring tape. But what if he slipped, I thought. Struck the chimney or gouged himself on an errant wedge of tin. He gave up a pack-a-day habit only four days ago. Would he want a gasper?

All

Boots and all
All in, or nothing
All out, in all, over
Be all and end all
Bar the shouting
All comers
Tell all
Warts and all
All told, done
Gone for all money, seasons
All saints, is forgotten
All is forgiven

Flaccid philosophy

They say sake is sin
That I should watch my cojones
Give me your reasons

Divine order

Desultory one
Two three four etcetera
See what heaven brings

Each line, another

Enjoined to do it
Myself a twitchy voyager
Never again. Alone

Brisk breath

Whenever I skip
My feet get tangled in air
The stuff I should breathe

Moodenial

Dear diary.

As of an hour ago, my temperament has changed. I'm now divinely happy. From the moment a goateed boofhead drove at me for crossing on the red man, I have been buzzing with thoughts of grace.

And of the thrilling effect of running away from sarcasm and misanthropy.

Critical courtesy

I held the man's coat
While he destroyed my life
It only seemed right

Savour your saviour

Forever tasted
Good for the first thirty years
Then: tacky, odd-flavoured

Contemporary inspiration

Top (contemporary) artist reveals how to find creative inspiration

• Be cruel to animals. The skittish ones. High finance types.
• Sit in the centre of the town square and repeat the word "love" metronomically. Do this for three days without food or water. Then repeat the word "hate" for six days while eating deep fried food and drinking coke.
• Commit arson in public toilets. Without warning or fire.
• Flirt with your avatar clone. Undress it with your eyes. Then erase its legs and mouth.
  
• Go to a public library and shoot people with cliches. Fill a water pistol with milk and honey and say "for your family" (bang), "your country" (boom), "your god" (blam).
• Recall all the things you wish never to remember. Call people. Ask them to help you forget.
• Reach into a mall shopper's bag and place whatever you find in your mouth. Hold up a sign saying, "I'm taking it hostage; there's nothing you can say or do to get it back".
  
• Perform a simulated sex act with a frozen tuna fish. Whoop it up among bewildered men in gumboots.
  
• Go to the steps of parliament and jump off a 1:5000 model of the Golden Gate bridge.
• Order "a life-affirming experience" at KFC and then laugh maniacally while you clumsily put on a cockroach costume.
• Justify your goodwill to people who loathe you and will not listen. Ask whether this justifies their loathing. When it is clear they are not listening, give them smiles laced with strychnine.
• Recreate the last voyage of the Hindenburg using a plastic bag and ewok figures. Do this on the alter of an important church (e.g. The Morning Show).
  
• Walk around the city with a blank sandwich board. Ask people to promote themselves.
• Sprinkle purified water on the tombstones of violent criminals. Anoint their troubled souls. Say things such as "I love you as a monkey" and "we were all amoeba once".