An unwanted bee swarm (or Christ-like kindness)

An elderly Russian couple came on a 40-degree day. They jerked around in puffy suits and barely spoke (to me, in English).

Two weeks later they returned with a jar of honey.

Christ-like opportunism

They took the box of vegies as well as the hand-made bench it was sitting on. But they left the sign 'Free. Please take.'

Title of my first memoir

The Bit I Didn't Need

Or

The Bit I Left Behind

iNeloquence

Left to its own devices
Digital barbarism
Encrypts the cloudy canopy

Who is protecting who
From all this iNeloquence? 
 

Pinch me

I shouldn't crave a gaffe
Or a minor telecommunications hiccup
I shouldn't need a tiff with the flower lady
To remind me that I'm alive

Ill-timed bargain

Recovering from biblical excess
I strolled to the shops
A door flung open
And a woman raced out
Who can you believe
She shouted

The complex ion

A two-way mirror salesman
Is at my door
His arms are full
I hide my complexion
Who is it? I ask
It's you he says
Me? He asks
Yes I say

The Abbott Files Part I

This quote is from occultist, mystic and ceremonial magician Aleister Crowley:

Even as evil kisses corrupt the blood, so do my words devour the spirit of man.
I breathe, and there is infinite disease in the spirit.
As an acid eats into steel, as a cancer that utterly corrupts the body; so am I unto the spirit of man.
I shall not rest until I have dissolved it all.

It is taken from Liber LXV: Liber Cordis Cincti Serpente. (The book of the heart girt with the serpent - or, in contemporary Australian political terms, the book of love squeezed by the python).

Another is from Hans Jaeger, late 19th Century bohemian radical, pornographer, intellectual charlatan and friend of Edvard Munch:

I shall not rest until I have corrupted my entire urban generation, or driven them to suicide.

Jaeger was described by a British critic as a 'fin-de-siecle Viking nihilist'.

Dimplexion

sadsplat

+ luĕre to wash

Me Phist (O)

/ˈsɛmbləns/

Semblance was likely a man
Who looked similar to himself
When he had no one else
To compare himself to

Dark flock

Flocking on a wire
I was giddy watching them
Plunging into air
A simple day
Elevated

Tranquillo

A wild tranquillo
Locked in three different rooms
I can't take it back

Hasty exit

Saved from goodbye
Fragments left on the lino
Near the window sill

Test Tube

Life's a skittle

A zap-size gheko
Skittling towards the shade
Sunshine is on her

Moonlit maggots

Gami from number 2

Announcing Give Corpulence a Kidney Day!

Spool

Speaking strictly industrially,
Poor men and their families
Were spooled into spinning jennys
Before power, productivity, and all those other
Haunting irreversibles
(Could save them)

Reflections 2000

"I just can't see the point of it," says the tax evader's chauffeur.

"I sometimes feel strange," says the plutocrat's doorman.

"I've never understood how the conclusions match the premises," says the corporate raider's chef.

"Parameters, parameters, parameters," says the benefactor's stable hand.

"It started with a kiss," says the gardener's loving wife.

Mr and Mrs Sohelpme

Then came the awful news
That my conscience was trapped in traffic
It could be hours

Pincerlevity

Render Unto I

Render Unto II

Unplangent paegent

A soft-footed beast approached me from behind
I sensed its breath before the opening of its jaw
It was a pantomime

Cast offs

Papa was a sailor
Nana was a knitter
They loved one another
I miss them

Wallflower non

On a rising tide
The moonlight is spreading
Its dance is for doom

Socks up

In thrall to his nylon gods
The master puppeteer tries
His hand at everything

The genial country quitter

The solar rep was once a roofer. I watched him scramble up a 32-degree ridge with a clipboard and measuring tape. But what if he slipped, I thought. Struck the chimney or gouged himself on an errant wedge of tin. He gave up a pack-a-day habit only four days ago. Would he want a gasper?

All

Boots and all
All in, or nothing
All out, in all, over
Be all and end all
Bar the shouting
All comers
Tell all
Warts and all
All told, done
Gone for all money, seasons
All saints, is forgotten
All is forgiven

Flaccid philosophy

They say sake is sin
That I should watch my cojones
Give me your reasons

Divine order

Desultory one
Two three four etcetera
See what heaven brings

Each line, another

Enjoined to do it
Myself a twitchy voyager
Never again. Alone

Brisk breath

Whenever I skip
My feet get tangled in air
The stuff I should breathe

Moodenial

Dear diary.

As of an hour ago, my temperament has changed. I'm now divinely happy. From the moment a goateed boofhead drove at me for crossing on the red man, I have been buzzing with thoughts of grace.

And of the thrilling effect of running away from sarcasm and misanthropy.

Critical courtesy

I held the man's coat
While he destroyed my life
It only seemed right

Savour your saviour

Forever tasted
Good for the first thirty years
Then: tacky, odd-flavoured

Contemporary inspiration

Top (contemporary) artist reveals how to find creative inspiration

• Be cruel to animals. The skittish ones. High finance types.
• Sit in the centre of the town square and repeat the word "love" metronomically. Do this for three days without food or water. Then repeat the word "hate" for six days while eating deep fried food and drinking coke.
• Commit arson in public toilets. Without warning or fire.
• Flirt with your avatar clone. Undress it with your eyes. Then erase its legs and mouth.
  
• Go to a public library and shoot people with cliches. Fill a water pistol with milk and honey and say "for your family" (bang), "your country" (boom), "your god" (blam).
• Recall all the things you wish never to remember. Call people. Ask them to help you forget.
• Reach into a mall shopper's bag and place whatever you find in your mouth. Hold up a sign saying, "I'm taking it hostage; there's nothing you can say or do to get it back".
  
• Perform a simulated sex act with a frozen tuna fish. Whoop it up among bewildered men in gumboots.
  
• Go to the steps of parliament and jump off a 1:5000 model of the Golden Gate bridge.
• Order "a life-affirming experience" at KFC and then laugh maniacally while you clumsily put on a cockroach costume.
• Justify your goodwill to people who loathe you and will not listen. Ask whether this justifies their loathing. When it is clear they are not listening, give them smiles laced with strychnine.
• Recreate the last voyage of the Hindenburg using a plastic bag and ewok figures. Do this on the alter of an important church (e.g. The Morning Show).
  
• Walk around the city with a blank sandwich board. Ask people to promote themselves.
• Sprinkle purified water on the tombstones of violent criminals. Anoint their troubled souls. Say things such as "I love you as a monkey" and "we were all amoeba once".