Sunday, January 27, 2008

Misplaced Comment #2

Dinosaurs are big-boned.

Notes: (1) This comment would be received more favourably if spoken without any special emphasis on the word 'dinosaurs'.

(2) If spoken to a large man or woman who, rightly or wrongly, thinks in euphemisms, this comment would be received unfavourably were it delivered with special emphasis on the word 'dinosaurs'.

(3) Dinosaurs are, of course, extinct: a tense problem. Also, some dinosaurs were not, actually, big-boned: a factual problem. Two very good ripostes in the event of an unkind application of this comment.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Monday, January 21, 2008

Misplaced comment #1

Shuttle diplomacy is subtle for anyone with a speech impediment.

Notes: (1) In writing what I have just written, I do not wish to demean those who have a speech impediment. I do acknowledge, however, that my words could inspire such an interpretation. Therefore, I propose that all parties concerned sit down, perhaps in groups of three or four spread through the rooms of a big stately building, and talk long into the night. We can have mixed nuts and juice.

(2) I once saw a man perform a punk version of Hamlet (part of a series of productions called Speed Shakespeare), which featured lots of profane language and not a great deal of subtlety (that was the point, of course, which I (kind of) got and (kind of) appreciated). His speech during the performance was flawless; it was only when I spoke to him after the show that I discovered his profound stutter.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

The bush

I caught the train to the bush this morning. The 7.40 Illawarra service took me from Central to Waterfall. From the station I walked through a scout camp to the top of a mountain. From the mountain I followed a fire trail to a pool in Heathcote creek, where I swam. After my swim I walked to Heathcote township and had a cup of coffee. Then I caught the 3.28 Eastern Suburbs service back to Central.

I saw a monitor, a skink and a finch.

We caught the train to the bush this morning. The 7.40 Illawarra service took us from Central to Waterfall. From the station we walked through a scout camp towards a mountain. We lost our way among some big rocks but we were not alarmed. We found it again near an electricity pylon. We followed painted dots to the top of the mountain. Afterwards, we swam in a pool and ate muesli bars and dates. We caught the 3.28 Eastern Suburbs service back to Central.

We saw a monitor and a skink. I saw a finch.

Two men caught the train to a suburb south of Sydney. They were destined for a mountain but didn't know it until they met a man in a truck. They were destined to swim in the valley beneath the mountain but didn't know it until the heat came. They talked and drank and followed a steel pipeline, scaled with rust. One of them thought about coffee until, early in the afternoon, he drank one (a dark brew). He then thought about food.

They both saw native animals. It is possible one saw one more than the other.

Saturday, January 05, 2008

Petrified Shell

Prone to Repeating

However many things you say now
Will not be true tomorrow
Will be less if you are
More if you're not
Prone to repeating
"I'm tired of you"

So have a stab old son

Friday, January 04, 2008

Disembodied Conversation

Plenty fish

An allegorical or metaphorical saying or narrative; an allegory, a fable, an apologue; a comparison, a similitude. Also: a proverb, a maxim; an enigmatic or mystical saying (now arch.).

How many times does it need to be repeated?

Pardon?

This.

Oh yes. The Parable. Fish stocks restored - crazy; dying man revived - didn't happen.

(Laughter)

So. None?

(Laughter)

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Conversation


Then she gave a little squeak.

No!

No. With a much higher pitch.

No!

Closer, but still higher.

Yes ...